go vegetarian.

24/1/06 |3:42 AM

somehow i can sense sth around me is wrong..the prob is..i dunno wad..this feeling is like bothering me the whole night already..and i got pilot test in like 4 hrs+ time?..man...

moo.
=chow=.

-got milk?-

23/1/06 |5:14 AM

gosh...took some time out of my "busy" sleeping schedule..and realise..how things around me change...its was barely 2 mths ago dat i finished my As..stepped into the working world for a mth or so and now slacking like say..23 days away?..wasted all these time man..guess i better start doing sth abt my life..get a job..cont my driving lessons and hopefully clear my pilot selection test..hahas..dun misunderstand me..i still have no interest in this whole pilot thingy..well..the pay and all the incentives are attractive..but..i just dun wanna do sth i am not interest in just coz of $$$...its like getting torture for money..
now my life is practically as wasted as it can be...i miss my 7+1 a lot...dun even knoe how are they doing now..hardly get smses from them..not dat i am gay or sth..but i thought a sms like 3 times in a week to let me knoe how u guys are doing will be nice..hahaz..knoe its a bit too much to ask...
so many things change and is gonna change during this 2 draggy mths of my life...school stops for me..training too..everything seems too..carefree?..i wake up every morning with nuthin to look forward to..may is busy with her FYP and amanda is prob busy with perry now dat he is back from thailand..sigh..guess i gonna be rotting another few days away till CNY..i do hope i get the job at may's office..now dat i love working..just dat i knoe i am not wasting my life away like now..and for once..i miss the schooling days..the rushing your life away over assignments..studying till u get dark rings test...oh well..guess i gotta grow up..and speaking of dat..i am like gonna be 20 soon?..in abt a mth plus time...and after dat i gonna be enlisted to NDU...hmm..also dunno wads install for me..guess i just gonna do my best and hopefully have some achievements i can be proud of when i ORD..BUT..before all these gonna happen..the long awaited and dreaded A level results release dat is like approaching...i can feel the pressure man..i hope i will do well...hmm..NO!..i will do well..i prayed for good results and the bible assures me dat god will give unconditionally...all i have to do is have faith man!
YESH!...
i miss the beach..the sun..the sand..school..vball..and my beloved 7+1 gang..

moo.
=chow=.

-got milk?-

influence |5:28 AM

sometimes just wonder how easily some people can be shaken even after making their own decisions...which sometimes irritates me like how come this person cant have a stronger stand in wad he believes...this applies esp to guys..
well..i do admit there are times when i will give in and get influence by people but..i dare say..80% of the time..i am a stubborn as a mule..unwilling to change wad stuffs i have decided in my mind...
saw a few close friends of mine getting so strongly influence by NS...cant help but stop and think..are they still the person i used to knoe?
sigh...they say ns..builds up your vulgar vocab..gets u more gung-ho..and most of the time u tink with your muscles and not with your brains..woa..somehow..the transformation in some of my friends is actually erking me away from ns...more and more disgusted with it..
just a gentle reminder to my friends in NS out there...dun get influence by people inside till theres a change of your character yea?..u are who u are..dun start scolding vulgar..talk horny..and all the stuffs la..this is your self discipline..prove to me how STRONG u really ar..CONTROL urself..to me..if ure unable to control even your mouth to scold vulgar..i dunno how far u can actually go in life..take care boys~

moo.
=chow=.

-got milk?-

i have already give it a rest... |2:53 AM

someone read her blog and realise someone has tagged some not to nice stuffs on her blog..sigh..smsed her to clarify it wasnt me..but whether she believed anot is another story..i have already give a break..taking it dat i have never known those 2...i am angered..refuse to talk..but i wont resort to such stuffs..i got better things to do in the new chapter of my life...

moo.
=chow=.

-got milk?-

views |1:43 AM

views...people often have different view abt stuffs around us..about a situation or even abt problems dat happen in out life..as a ordinary boy next door..i often feel dat my view along is not strong enough to substantiate wad i see or feel abt sth..dats y i often ask along a few friends to help me decide on stuffs..explains why i go shopping with more than a person always..if not..i wont get anything..
okay..back to the topic..views..well..we often are happy when people agree with us abt stuffs..but those people dat dun agree with us..we simply ignore them...lets think again..how often do we actually put negative feedbacks into consideration..nobody wanna hear them to begin with not to say accept them...
this passing phase of my life have been a joke...i thought sth big in my life happen..but then again before i knew it..i threw that chance away..so much happen..i view myself as someone who is in pain..well..it hurts to me..but often i do not much show it esp during outings with my friends and family..but then again..there are people who tinks i am not and just seeking self pity..to make someone else feel bad..seriously..i dunno why they tink dat way..wad i place here on my blog is as for myself..how i feel abt things around me and things dat happened to me..hmm..but to think on the negative feedback i was given..maybe i am a lil insensitive abt stuffs..abt stuffs i post..so i hereby apologise for those hurt i cause..but then again..if anyone thinks he/she will get hurt or offended when reading my blog..i guess..its better if u dun read..make things easier for everybody...
the new yr has past and CNY is coming..everything dat happened last CNY seems like yest when i had my 7+1 buddies..coming to my place for a gathering..this year..how will it be..i dare not comment..wonder if 7+1 still exist to some people..hmm..sorry if i cause a tremor to the gang..i knoe it upset some of u..yea..sorry..but i hope u guys view things from my pt..i can no longer see some of u like before..in fact some of which i dun even consider them a friend anymore..
well..things seem weird at start when i see u guys one by one going into ns..but well..got used to it..sorta regretted why i agreed to be a naval diver..i go in late..stuck here all alone..and when u guys are all out..i will still be inside serving ns..but well..i guess i shall just look forward to the scuba diving license dat i will be getting after two yrs..for this one time..my dad is rite in a sense dat "i thought u have been wanting to scuba dive since young" which brought by some memories dat i had place behind my head..oh well..NDU here i come
was chatting with fiona just now..and wow..she really is a great listening ear..chatting with her make me feel peaceful and stuffs..no wonder yang love her so much..i fully understand now..=)..okay..the way she view stuffs is quite open in a sense like..she view things from diff perspective..which makes her smart girl..she told me dat i should let go..but guess wad..i already did..just dat i cant stop harping on stuffs u see..and yea..i lost someone precious to me during this whole saga..but well..life gotta move on..some of u may think.."oh well..just forgive him and u 2 can be good friends again"..but i just gotta tell u..i cant bring myself to trust him with anything ever since wad happened..thus to make things simple and less tormenting for the both of us..i tink..having ten friends whom u cant trust..can never beat dat u have only one friend whom u can entrust your life to..
suddenly recalled sth when blogging..mingren my honey sent me a sms not so long ago..and it sorta touched me..and yes..the emotional me..teared...it goes like this.."i hope when we are all 50 yrs old..we can sit down at some coffeeship to drink coffee"...oh well..guess wad..i look forward to dat day too..hmm...
views..well to end off..just wanna say that viewing things from your and own perspective maybe a lil too selfish..esp when u comment on wad you view..it may just hurt someone along the way..so..well..lets all get going to look at things from diff angles..and maybe try to understand how someone else may view the whole thing..and see how we can go abt from there...

"everybody wants to go heaven..but nobody wants to die.."..hmm..food for though here~

moo.
=chow=.

-got milk?-

wad is maturity? friendship? hurt? care? love? |1:32 PM

sometimes i ponder abt wad people comment on wads maturity? does maturity = able to accept hurt without fighting back?..dats certainly not my way of maturity...somehow to me..doing things dat u knoe will hurt your friend and going ahead with it is also not my way of friendship..maturity is again qns in this situation..does going ahead with sth u knoe will hurt your friend called maturity?..its a display of total selfishness and childishness..yes..they say LOVE is selfish..but loving someone and at the same time hurting another..hmm..how long can u live with it?..no conscience?...personally i cannot do it..asking me to chase someone whom i knoe my friend ( or even close friend ) likes her too..its not a way of showing my maturity..hurt..humph..hurt can be displayed in many diff ways i feel..displayed in forms of anger or hatred..for me..i simply ignore..i ignore things dat arent pleasant to me to make my life a better one..i keep telling myself, "why get all caught up with hurt?" when i can simply ignore it..sometimes i would even go to the extent of deleting him/her from all phases of my life to assist myself in ignoring the hurt or even forgetting them..
wad does care actually mean to me..caring for someone to me is not just words and agenda..its more than dat..i always believe action speaks louder than words..dats y i always show care thru forms of "touch" or doing things for them..prob dats y u often see me pad my friends on the head or even putting my hand over their shoulder..doing things for them..hmm..i often go to the extent of not thinking of myself to show care for my friends..i often do things dat make me feel like "how come i cant tink of myself more.."
love..hmm..they say its complicated and selfish..yes i do agree dat its complicated..and selfish?..i doubt so..people often say dat loving someone is wanting him/her to be happy..to me..dats pretty true..i had love someone so dear to me..though she is with another..but everytime i see her smile when shes on the phone with her or when she brings him up to the discussion..makes my heart melt..hmm..hereby i share a lil account ..any mere coincidence wasnt intentional:
there was a guy..hmm..whom dun dare to love another after his last breakup with his ex..well..he got a few girls whom express their love to him..but someone he just dun dare to accept it..saying things dat will cont prolong the whole "give me an ans" process....well..there was this one girl..whom he encountered who find him non attractive and bad tempered..which was pretty diff from the other girls..this girl thought getting along with him would give her the rights to change his temper esp..well..the guy was not very much in LOVE with her..but just a mere liking..(this tingling feeling in your heart)..but well..he was rdy to make do with it..and give it a shot..but then again..the barrier of every guy's life - - NS...this guy thought dat liking her wont mean letting her suffer and wait for 2 whole yrs..alone outside while he is serving ns..so he gave a witty reply to the girl's honesty "if after my ns and we are both single..we will give it a try yea?"...low and behold..things dun always go the want u want it..this guy's best friend fell in love with the girl...and his friend thought if he could just bring them 2 together..maybe he will just give up...but to this guy..his best friend's feelings are more impt than anything else..he decided not to hurt him..
when this guy was pushed to wall for an ans to the girl..he gave a simple "i dont live her" which seems not so real..all for this girl's 2 yrs and for his best friend's feelings..
things turn out worse for this guy when one day he witness his best friend held this girl's hands...his heart sank..
his best friend well..did do a bit..and decided to break up with a girl dat day when the guy saw them together...it hurt dat girl a lot i would say..
thought the whole saga ended?..well..think again..the best friend decided to go back with that girl after a few days of consideration..but this time round..he knoes dat the guy likes her enough to give him the timgling feeling in his heart..and dat if he were to go together with that girl..this guy would be hurt and it will be in turn bring their friendship to a halt..man are born selfish..he went on with it without much care..
that guy was hurt..

the story of course din not end here..everything dat follows will be up to u guys imagination...maturity..friendship..care ..love wasnt much displayed here..so hereby i hope that u will just leave things as it is and give me a break..i wasnt displaying your bad qualities if u wanna knoe...i was merely displaying the whole account of wad happened..i dun dare how much u wanna see it..but i knoe i was mature enough to ignore the whole incident..i did not seek pity or anything..i merely just got consoles from friends who learnt abt the situation..yea..

moo.
=chow=.

-got milk?-

nuthin more to say |10:40 PM

gain sympathy?..i dun need to..everyone else can see wads going on..childish?..be mature abt it..u dunno wad happened and how much it hurts?..get a life..leave me alone

moo.
=chow=.

-got milk?-